Today’s post starts with a listener question from a mom who wants to sleep train her almost-2-year-old. She’s trying to figure out the logistics — especially since her toddler is still in a crib and still wearing a diaper or pull-up at night.
If you have question, click here to submit yours:
Listener Question
Hi. I want to sleep train my almost-2-year-old, but she’s still in a crib, so I’m worried about the logistics of that. And I want to keep her in a diaper or a pull-up overnight — is that going to confuse her? I know some people have had success with that until they transition to a big-girl bed, but I want to see what your experience is with other people.
The Diaper Question: Completely Irrelevant
The first thing I’m going to say — this part is irrelevant.
Most children sleep through the night, sleep in their own space, and are “sleep trained” while still wearing a diaper or a pull-up. You do not need them to be dry at night before you help them sleep independently.
Night dryness can take ages three to five… even seven before it happens consistently. That has nothing to do with whether they’re able to sleep on their own in their crib or bed. So leave the diaper/pull-up question off to the side.
What a 2-Year-Old Doesn’t Need
A healthy, growing 2-year-old:
does not need to eat at night
does not need to sleep in a parent’s bed
does not need to come out of their room to get back to sleep
When parents ask about this at age two, it’s usually because:
The child sleeps in the parents’ bed and the family wants to transition to a separate sleep space.
The child wakes repeatedly and needs rocking, feeding, or parental presence to fall back asleep.
If that’s not your goal, that’s okay — feel free to swipe on.
But if you are wanting your 2-year-old to sleep independently, it’s very doable.
The Approach I Teach: “Camping”
My approach is called camping. I didn’t invent it, but I teach it all the time because it is:
gentle
affirming
connected
and very effective
It gives your toddler confidence:
“I can fall asleep on my own. I can sleep through the night on my own.”
Here’s how it works.
Step 1: Talk It Up
Prepare them during the day.
“Hey, you get to sleep in your big girl/big boy bed tonight. Let’s check out your room. What should we put in here to make it cool?”
Get them excited about their space.
Step 2: Do Your Normal Bedtime Routine
Do your usual routine:
feed
cuddle
rock
read
songs
Whatever you typically do.
Then put them in the crib (or bed) awake.
Step 3: Plop Down on the Floor Beside Them
Don’t tiptoe away wondering, “Are they going to get upset?”
Just plop down on the ground next to the crib.
You are the calm, reassuring presence.
Stay until they fall asleep.
They may fuss or whine. You can use calm, quiet words, but try not to:
pat
rub
hold their hand
touch them to sleep
Because then you have to undo that habit later.
Most toddlers very quickly accept,
“Okay… this is where I sleep now, and my parent is right here.”
Step 4: Repeat Overnight
Yes, they may still wake up.
When they do, repeat the process:
sit beside them, reassure, and let them fall back asleep in their crib.
You will need a little extra coffee during these first few nights. But once they realize:
“I can fall asleep on my own,” and
“When I wake up, I can go back to sleep on my own,”
they start stringing their sleep cycles together. We all wake up at night — kids included. We just want them to handle those wake-ups calmly.
Step 5: Move “Base Camp” Away Slowly
After a few nights of success:
move yourself a little farther from the crib
then across the room
then near the door
then in the hallway
Over a couple of weeks, you’ll move further and further away until they don’t need to know exactly where you are. They just feel safe and capable.
The Biggest Obstacles
Two things typically derail this process:
Feeding at night
If you keep feeding them back to sleep, you’ll stay stuck in that loop.Giving in out of exhaustion
“Ugh, they’re crying, I’ll just put them in our bed.”
Not the end of the world! But it does slow the process.
If your goal is independent sleep, you can get there.
It takes patience and consistency — not harshness.
The Good News
I’ve been a pediatrician for over a dozen years. I’ve helped thousands of families sleep-train toddlers.
This process does work.
It doesn’t have to be stressful. It doesn’t have to be “cry-it-out.” It doesn’t have to be locking them in a room or ignoring them. It simply requires:
time
patience
consistency
reasonable expectations
What worked when they were younger may no longer be working now — and it’s perfectly okay to make a shift.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer, click here to submit it.
