I had over 100 parents register for my After School Upgrade Workshop and yesterday I talked through the step-by-step after school plan to foster connection, confidence (you and your child), and memorable (in a good way) after school & early evenings.
Like an Olympic figure skating routine, a number of small specific movements and transitions that add up to a well designed program. Even if one area doesn’t work out perfectly each time, the overall performance flows. We design our after school approach based on a number of small movements and transitions that add up to more regulation, peace, and affirmation for your child and yourself.
I also invited those who attended, and will invite you until we hit 50 parents to join my upcoming ADHD Upgrade Cohort - a 4-week small group program to upgrade your systems-based approach to ADHD.
The full replay is above.
Here’s what we covered so you can jump to what you need:
Mindset shifts (start here if you’re new to this) 0:00 — Why after school is so hard (and why you don’t have to settle) 3:00 — Setting the scene: what most families experience every afternoon 5:30 — “Kids do well when they can” — Dr. Ross Greene and The Explosive Child 7:30 — Expectations vs. reality (and why the gap causes so much guilt) 10:00 — The knowing-doing gap: why your child knows what to do but can’t do it 11:00 — The 30% Rule from Dr. Russell Barkley (this one changes everything) 13:00 — Engineer → Shepherd: a new way to think about your role
Q&A sprinkled throughout 14:30 — How to stay regulated when your child is dysregulated 45:00 — Deescalating mid-meltdown (twice exceptional/2E kids) 58:30 — Parenting ADHD with multiple kids 1:01:00 — Supporting inattentive ADHD + homework + self-esteem 1:04:00 — Demand avoidance and sensitivity to being “different” 1:06:00 — Iron, vitamin D, and protein for ADHD
The after school routine, step by step 26:00 — The car ride home (skip “how was your day”) 27:30 — The landing pad (a tub instead of five demands at the door) 29:30 — Snack break: protein + water before any demands 32:00 — 20 minutes of low-demand movement (not screens) 33:30 — Bridging from recharge to homework 35:00 — The homework spot (same place, every time, engineered for focus) 37:00 — Chunking homework using the 30% Rule 38:30 — Body doubling: be nearby doing your own work 40:00 — Motivation that actually works (immediate, concrete, positive) 41:30 — When it falls apart (pause, validate, pivot) 48:00 — The four ADHD domains and building a whole system
This talk was one slice — after school and evenings. And even within that, we only scratched the surface.
What about mornings? Sleep? The biology underneath everything — iron, nutrition, movement? The parenting approaches that work with the ADHD brain instead of against it? Setting up your environment so routines run themselves?
That’s what the ADHD Systems Upgrade Cohort is for.
4 weeks. Live trainings + Q&A with me. A small group of 7-10 parents over text — real conversations, real wins, real accountability with people who get it.
Week 1: Biological Foundations Week 2: Parenting Approaches Week 3: Environmental Scaffolding Week 4: Putting the System Together
Because knowing isn’t the hard part. Doing is. And doing it alone is even harder.
We start next Tuesday. Spots are limited to 50 parents.
If you watched the workshop, use code WORKSHOP to save $50.
👉 Join the ADHD Systems Upgrade Cohort
~DrB
