"This ain't daycare"

I recorded this video before the tragedy/injustice/murder in Minnesota this past weekend…and then I couldn’t decide when the right time to post this is….but I think it’s more relevant now than ever on how to get a handle on your screentime & attention in midst of allllllll the news, tragedies. I hope it helps you to live with screens and the constant news cycle.

3 Things To Do In The Midst Of All These Injustices (instead of getting stuck in the comment sections and anxiety doom-scrolling)

1. Get real with how you’re feeling and what you’re doing to cope (the good and the bad)…write it in a journal or sticky note, share it with a friend, shout into the void…

2. Act locally by volunteering to help those in need. Every community is full of people you can actually reach who need help right now

3. Contact your elected representatives and VOTE

Now, my original post:

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“This Ain’t Daycare”

I do the Peloton bike and Alex Toussaint is my main instructor.

One of the things he shouts during his rides: “THIS AIN’T DAYCARE”

And when I hear that, what it says to me is this: you decide what you put in, and you decide what you get out. You decide where to put your time, your energy, and your attention.

And right now, as parents, we get to decide where we give our time and energy and attention.

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Being Led Where You Don’t Want to Go

I recently heard a verse from the Bible, from John, that says:

“…when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”

When you’re in daycare, someone else tells you where to go.

When you’re elderly and need care, people move you where you don’t necessarily want to go.

But until then, you get to decide.

(This verse from John refers to Peter’s martydom but I’m a simple guy and this makes sense to me)

And I talk with a lot of parents who feel scattered. Pulled from thing to thing. Overstretched. Exhausted.

They’re pulled into scrolling as escapism. They’re looking for comfort. They’re looking for distraction.

But in doing so, they’re being led where they do not want to go.

And I’m very guilty of this too. There’s no judgment here.

I remember standing in the kitchen at 5:30 in the morning. I’d gotten up early to exercise, and instead I’m reading comments or swiping Instagram reels. And suddenly I’m thinking, Where did that time go?

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Our Brains Were Never Designed for This

Our brains are not designed to experience so much, so quickly.

In just a couple of minutes—waiting for coffee to brew—you can experience:

• tragedy

• injustice

• violence

• new baby pictures

• guilt-tripping

• a funny cat video

• a conspiracy theory

The feed doesn’t stop and it’s so easy to just keep scrolling.

dear parents, our brains were never designed to rollercoaster like this.

From an evolutionary standpoint, we didn’t have constant worldwide news at our fingertips. We didn’t learn everything going on in the world during a two-minute coffee break. That information used to take weeks or months to reach us—if it ever did.

Now we live in what I’d call the information overwhelm age.

Those images and videos—tragedies, injustices, funny moments—they linger in our minds for hours and days. And that’s on top of everything else we’re already carrying.

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Why “Just Delete the App” Doesn’t Work

A lot of parents tell me, “I finally got fed up and deleted the app.”

And people think I’ll just tell them to delete social media—but I actually don’t think that’s a great strategy.

Here’s what happens:

• You delete the app.

• You feel good for a couple days.

• Then you need a recipe.

• Or you want to see a friend’s baby pictures.

• And suddenly you’re right back in it.

I’ve seen this over and over:

“I’m done with Facebook.”
“I’m done with Instagram.”
“I’m done with TikTok.”

Until something pulls them back—and then the old habits return.

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Two Simple Boundaries That Actually Help

Instead of deleting apps, we put boundaries in place to protect our brains—and our attention.

1. Put Your Phone in Grayscale

This one is incredibly simple.

Grayscale makes your phone so much more boring and less enticing.

I keep my phone in grayscale most of the time. Occasionally I have to switch it back to color—parents text us rash photos, and it’s hard to tell eczema from chickenpox in grayscale.

So I use shortcuts and automations. On Apple phones, I have it set so that every four hours, if my phone is in color, it automatically switches back to grayscale.

Once you do this, going back to color feels overwhelming—like drinking black coffee for weeks and then suddenly having a Java Chip Frappuccino. It’s a weird but real phenomenon.

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2. Lock Yourself Out of Apps (For Real)

Screen time limits are easy to ignore. You hit the warning, dismiss it, and keep scrolling.

So instead, we lock ourselves out completely.

When my time is up, I’m locked out and need a passcode I don’t have. My wife has mine. I have hers.

If I want more Instagram time, I actually have to ask:

“Hey, can you unlock this for me?”

There are very few Instagram emergencies.

That friction matters.

Once you’re locked out, there’s relief. The tug is gone. The distraction is gone. Presence comes back.

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Try This for Two Weeks

I always tell parents:

• Use grayscale

• Use lockouts

• Or whatever tools work for you

Do it consistently for two weeks.

Then notice:

• your sleep

• your peace of mind

• your patience

• your relationships with your kids, spouse, and family

Most people see real benefits.

And when these systems are permanent, screens stop creeping back in and taking over.

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Putting Screens Back in Their Proper Place

If you want more help, I do have a comprehensive plan designed for parents called The Screen Reset.

Screens are a tool—like a chainsaw.

A chainsaw is great, but we don’t use it at the dinner table. It lives in the garage and comes out when it’s needed.

The Screen Reset helps families use screens intentionally, not constantly.

It’s a guided journey delivered by text message—no logins, no dashboards. Just short daily messages & videos that snowball into a healthier relationship with screens for you and your kids.

Parents get their time back. Their control back. And screens stop being a constant source of stress.

👉 You can learn more about the Screen Time Reset here:
https://learn.pbmd.co/reset

If nothing else, try grayscale and lockouts. Make a plan. Put screens in their place.

This isn’t daycare. You get to decide.

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More Screen Learnings: